Toilet Rolls

I know I scoffed at the idea of toilet rolls going off, but my toilet roll went off today. Maybe it needs to be kept in the fridge, wrapped in cling film to lengthen its life expectancy, I don’t know, but I know now something I didn’t know before. Everything can go off. Even uranium. Not that I’ve ever owned a nuclear power station. This is terrible news for some people. Especially those who own stamp collections. If you want to preserve the expensive group of stamps – or other antiques – you must do something about it until it’s too late. As regards the future of mankind and digging up time capsules, you better be sure there’s a huge half-life on those badboys. I hope in the future they know how to dispense with things before there’s a huge hole in the earth full of rotting toilet paper.

Stilton cheese however must be God’s answer to mould and decomposition. It’s edible, tasty and will last forever. Unless I am one of the few who don’t know that stilton will go off.

It is remarkable therefore that some things have survived the test of time: like the bible, spanish and tennis. Without those things, life would be completely different. Let us pray therefore that today’s technology will survive into the future, for already we have forgotten much. Let us remember those things that matter.